Early July found us at a provincial park near Kamloops. Full marks if you identified that downcast-looking dog as a Wheaton Terrier. His name is Irving, and he's actually a lot happier than this picture would lead you to believe.

This is near the top of a very high rock.

Early into our expedition, our peasant guides abandoned us, fleeing in terror and shouting a final warning it would take us at least half an hour to make it to the summit. We dismissed their fears light-heartedly, but after five minutes, we were forced to admit it was possible they were right.

After 10 minutes, we passed the point of no return. The hardship was incredible. Rob worked up a light sweat, while Alex's breathing became noticeably heavier.

Shelley (one of Irving's mommies) made the climb with us, to her eternal regret. At the 22-minute mark, catastrophe: a pebble in Rob's shoe. We almost turned back, but Rob courageously sucked back a tube of PowerGel (the most vile substance known to humanity) and carried on. Just before we embarked on our final assault on the summit, Alex had a brainstorm, and double-knotted Rob's boots.

We expect to receive confirmation of the patent for this procedure early next week.